About an hour before you’re ready to cook, fill up a large mixing bowl with water and salt it to the salinity of ocean water. You can do this by taste, or by adding about 6 tablespoons of salt per gallon of water. Then add 1/4 cup of breadcrumbs, and toss your steamer clams into the mix. We start here because the clams are alive! And potentially sandy. The clams will filter feed over the next hour, expelling sand caught in their shells.
Peel and mince the entire head of garlic. If this sounds daunting, don’t worry! Here’s a trick. Start by chopping the entire root side of the garlic off, making sure to remove the bottom of each individual clove. Then, using the heel of your hand or a sturdy knife, squish the garlic flat and you should be able to easily remove all of the skin. Then either chop finely or use a garlic press and set aside.
Chop the parsley and set aside.
After the clams have soaked and filtered for an hour, rinse them off and put them in a large pot. Discard any clams which may have died before cooking — live clams have their shells intact, sink in water, and close slightly when tapped. Pour in olive oil to cover the clams, then add the garlic, parsley and red pepper flakes. I recommend a healthy dose of red pepper flakes, unless you are particularly averse to spice. Toss with your hands to mix everything together.
Cook on medium-high heat until the clams open, about 5-10 minutes. Notably, do not add any liquids to the pot of clams. The clams themselves will release plenty of liquid, and you don’t want to dilute it. Overcooked clams are particularly rubbery, so take them off the heat as soon as they all open. The belly of a perfectly cooked soft-shell clam will be soft and the neck will be chewy but not rubbery.
To serve: Serve in a large bowl, with a communal bowl for discarded shells. Pour the clam liquor (the juice from the bottom of the pot) into dipping bowls to further rinse the clam bodies to remove any residual sand before eating. Serve with hot fresh bread to dunk into the seasoned clam juice.
To eat: Open the clam shell and remove the body. Grasp the base of the neck just below the gray portion with your thumb and index finger nails (where the meat is firmer than the squishy body) and peel the gray portion away, again making use of your finger nails. Hold the clam by the now exposed neck and dunk it into the bowls of clam juice to intensify the flavor and rinse any remaining sand away. Eat the whole clam in one bite and start reaching for the next one.